A difficult question to answer without going into specifics is, “When will my baby sleep through the night?”. This can be frustrating because when parents ask me this, I know they are looking for a quick, concise, time-based answer.
“Three nights from now” or “At six months old” are the answers parents expect and the kind of answer I would like to give, but there are many factors to consider and a few things to understand before making a timeline.
The first thing parents need to understand is:
Everyone wakes up in the middle of the night, children and adults alike. This is normal!
We, humans, sleep in cycles, ranging from light sleep to deep sleep and vice versa. Occasionally, when we enter the light sleep stage of a cycle, we hear a noise, and that little thing, whatever it is, is enough to wake us up.
As adults, we change positions or pull back the sheet and go back to sleep. Most of the time, the awakening is so brief that we don’t even remember the next day.
But for babies who are used to being rocked or fed to sleep, waking up during the night requires external support to return to peaceful sleep.
What do parents really want to know?
In fact, parents want to know, “When will my baby be able to go back to sleep on his own?” That’s a much easier question to answer. And the short answer is: when he develops his own sleep skills.
When you teach your child to sleep by himself, he will be able to employ this skill several times a night, every night, for the rest of his life.
To achieve this, you don’t have to leave your baby alone in the crib and let him figure it out for himself. This approach has worked for many people, but only some are comfortable using it, and it’s not the kindest way to teach your baby excellent sleeping skills.
Practice is essential for a baby “sleep through the night”.
As with any skill a child needs to learn, practice is essential, so let them experiment. They’re probably going to cry a little bit, but that doesn’t mean you can’t go in and encourage them, comfort them, and reassure them.
What you shouldn’t do, however, is doing it for him. This doesn’t teach anyone anything. So whatever you’ve traditionally done to get your child to sleep at night or in the middle of the night, whether it’s giving him a pacifier, rocking him to sleep, feeding him, whatever. These “sleeping props” are like walking sticks that will keep him from developing his own sleep skill.
So while I can’t give you an exact date or age when your baby will sleep independently and “sleep through the night”, I can guarantee it will be much sooner if you give him the opportunity and autonomy.
If you need help or want to make this process easier with my help daily, schedule a free consultation so we can get to know each other and talk better.
Carla Picolli
carla@nightnight.co.nz
